guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
