I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Randomize
