I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize