did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
