What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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