Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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