she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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