I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
