I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
