I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
