Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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