Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
