your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
