? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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