I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
