very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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