I'm drive I can fine osifer
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
