My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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