so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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