Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
