im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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