drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
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