I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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