"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize