He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
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