i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
