I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
