Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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