I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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