No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
