I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
