What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
