you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
