Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so explain again why im purple
no
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Randomize
