Did you just see the Batmobile???
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize