Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
