Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
