why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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