so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
