got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
