I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize
