I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
