Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
He did a backflip because drugs
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
