just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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