I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
