You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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