My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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