brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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