What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
