Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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