after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
