At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
