like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
