Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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