She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
