Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
