Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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