Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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