Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Found the puke drawer
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
