my mouth tastes like poor choices
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
