So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
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