just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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